i found the purge paper and "want " "need" assignments very very useful, but it was not hard at all once i got into the questions, i wonder if several years of therapy is what helped me here and i wonder if you guys who also had therapy have had the same experience

I wrote a few pages of journalism. Some of the stuff is private and I won't share, but some of it I would like to share. Maybe someone else has the same struggles as I do. Here are a few points: Digital or traditional, or both? A constant battle for me is deciding if I should work digitally or traditionally. This has been a major concern for me since I started my art journey five years ago. If I could choose freely, without any outside force affecting me, I would choose traditional art in a heartbeat. But for some reason, I have this weird idea that I can't create my ideas with traditional mediums and that it is expected of me to work digitally. Reasons why I think I need to work digitally and counters to that: Reason 1: I am always in a hurry, I never think enough before I start painting. With digital paintings, I can always redo and add. I have thrown away so many traditional paintings because they were not well thought through, and I ran into issues that I could not fix. Counter argument: If I put more time into the sketch and composition phase, thinking through the ideas properly, I can minimize the probability of running into major issues. I think working traditionally will strengthen me as an artist and let me create more interesting and original art. Reason 2: To be able to work in the industry, I need to work digitally so that I can work fast and make changes that the client wants. If I work traditionally and need to change something late in the process, I am screwed. Counter argument: Same as above, I just need to put more time into the ideation phase. And I need to understand which clients I will work with in the future. If it is concept art for games, then yes, working digitally is the industry standard. But maybe my future clients are somewhere else. Maybe I should work with clients that fit my style of working. First comes the art, and after that come the clients. Reason 3: Digital art allows me to experiment without worrying about ruining anything. Counter argument: I can always experiment on the side with traditional tools. It is a parallel process. I just need to think, this piece is for experimenting, and this piece is about implementing tools that I have learned from my experiments. It is a major issue for me that there are too many tools in digital programs and too many ways of doing things on the computer, and it is just a click away. Reason 4: It is so easy to carry my iPad with me anywhere, and it has all I need to create a sketch or a final painting. Counter argument: This is true, but it also falls into the above reason. If I am out and about, maybe I do not need to do highly rendered art but should instead try and capture what is around me, whether it is cafés, train stations, or waiting rooms. That I can do with a pencil. There is one thing though that I will probably continue doing digitally, and that is refining sketches. Layers over layers, adjusting scale, perspective, and so on once the idea is set. With this course and new motivation, I have come to the conclusion that I will work traditionally for my finished work, only using digital tools for the sketching phase. I want to think more before I do No more rushing through ideas, always being in a hurry. This has a lot to do with the discussion above. I think traditional art will help me slow down, and I hope this course will help me think more and paint less (sounds weird). I hate completing a piece of art and then thinking, If I had just put some more thought into it, or if I had explored more in the beginning. I know these thoughts will probably always be there, but I do not want to feel like I rushed a piece. Not overworking my art This also has to do with digital art versus traditional (it is getting tiresome, I know), but I always overwork my art when I work digitally. I never know when to stop. I think that is why so many new artists struggle with finding their style, because the options and brushes are too many. No wonder everyone is fixated on brushes in Photoshop, thinking that will fix the style issue. Style, I think, is about leaving things out and limiting yourself, not overpainting to find it. I am confident that traditional art will help me find my style. When I paint with watercolors, I almost always know when it is time to stop.