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Steve Lenze
•
1yr
added comment inMarvel Comics pencils Assignment
Here are the things I noticed: you have drawing issues and story issues.
*All three characters are lined up and pretty much the same size. Not good layout because it makes the
page look static.
*Spiderman looks like he is kneeling on the floor, not flying.
*Black panther's body looks too short and you didn't show enough evidence of the twist.
*The first panel shows Spiderman swinging, in the next panel, he is lying on the floor with a girl over him-
what happened to him? How did he get inside that room?
*In panel 3 Spiderman is swinging away, how, and what happened to him?
* You are drawing the forearms too short and not using overlapping shapes and perspective.
* Hands too big.
You can't just show moments in the story without setting them up first and linking them, or your reader will be confused and the story won't make sense.
Pretty good attempt though, keep at it :)
@andytheartman
1yr
Thanks for the feedback. Really helpful and a lot to work on As for the story the assignment was to give three seperate scenes not the complete story thats why a lot of questions are not answered I probably should have used three seperate sheets but wanted to see if I could do a decent composition on the page which I obviously need to work on more. once again thank you for the notes I really appreciate the help.
My attempt at the pencilling assignment. We had to take three scenes from a story beginning middle and end. Any advice would be appreciated.
Some really good work Lightingis cool and facial expressions are excellent. I would work on the proportion of the hands as they look a little on the small side. As for how close you are who knows just keep practicing and putting your work out there.
@andytheartman
•
1yr
Really nice work good use of camera angles. One thing I noticed is on the 6th page 2nd panel you have a hand breaking the panel border which took me out of the page. It works in the last panel because it is leading you to the next page. Just a thought love your work.
Can't wait! Does anyone have a discord for this class or want to start one. It'd be nice to give critique and commentary and share our work with each other!
Sounds like a good idea there's also the community page here which I think allows students to communicate.
By a show of ink and paint covered, pencil callused hands who's here to learn to be a writer?
I'm here for the whole thing. I want to be able to develop the kernel of an idea into a fully realised comic how cool will that be!
This looks amazing!!!
