Something's off...
2yr
Dwight
TLDR; I'd like opinions on why this picture doesn't work. I've always put off finishing a portrait— until a few days ago. I can see a lot of mistakes in my drawing, such as too low of a brow line or the non-cylindrical mouth. And looking side-by-side, I sliced this lady's jaw off too. However, my question isn't about that, although feel free to point out any. It's more of an intangible feeling that something feels wrong. I took a day off, and opening it again, I immediately notice her right (our left) eye. Is it because it's local value is too dark? Or is something else wrong? Is the hair too chaotic? Are the proportions uncanny? Uneven shading? Or a combination of these? During the making of this picture, a happy though seized me: I was running out of values. I guess unconsciously I'm beginning to see more and more values, and might have to start using more than just my HB pencil for my sketchbook. But regardless, I still tried to clearly separate darks from lights, and looking back, had varied success. And if you made it this far, just a couple more things. The time stamps above each were how long it took, and I did no blending (I was too scared). But anyway, what do you think? - Dwight
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@tiny
2yr
Hi Dwight, I think it's a really nice portrait and you got a relatively good likeness. What I perceive as "wrong" about the eyes is their wobbliness. HER lower right eyelid and upper left eyelid are not really rounded - or do not seem so because of the shading? Also, the eyes are probably not set back far enough. In the picture the shadow above the eye is darker where your lighter shading makes it seem more prominent. The chin and nose are too short, but you already noticed that the proportions were not quite right. Nice work though!
Nikesh Jaggan
I read the replies in the thread and everyone seems to have highlighted what's going on already, but i'll put my 2 cents in, perhaps what i have to say may be of help to you...well i hope anyway. Right away, switching from the reference to your drawing, the most immediate discrepancy are your proportions. Looking at your portrait, from a viewers perspective, the bridge of the nose is too long, so then the mouth gets misplaced as well. In the reference, the mouth isn't so close to the right side of the face (her left side), nor is the mouth so close to the chin? Also, the corners of the mouth go from the pupil of Her right eye to the pupil of Her left eye, but that proportion doesn't happen in your drawing. This post is a couple days old so perhaps you've figured everything out, but regardless, this might be helpful for future portraits. Cheers!!
Avshin
2yr
I think your shading is too bright and you dont understand the 3d form of the head especially the cheek area because i cant see many shading or things like that . I highly reccomend you to check angel ganev patreon portrait course because he explains all the anatomical aspects of it and they look pretty as well. Hope you can reach the level you want
Dwight
2yr
Just a quick question: what do you mean by bright shading? Does that mean my darks aren't dark enough? And as to facial structure, I'd agree with you. I was thinking doing some skull studies, or doing some Asaro head drawings instead of tackling a complete head. I think this drawing has been a reality check for me, Thanks for responding.
Smithies
2yr
This is a great drawing! I definitely think you have caught the likeness, so well done. I would check your plum lines for the edges of the mouth. In the photo they are roughly under the pupils. I think your centre line of the face is at slightly the wrong angle as you've tried to undo the tilt of the head which hasn't helped you. You could mark these out at the beginning of the drawing to help you check everything is planned out right before you put in all the detail work you've done because it's so frustrating having to undo hard work, and your detailing looks great! Congrats on a good attempt though, it looks like a lovely drawing.
Dwight
2yr
Take more time in the set up. I think I get caught up in wanting to do detail, but I'll try to slow down. Thanks!
@frogacourtin
Hi Dwight, I would like to preface my reply by saying I am not very good, so please view my input with this in mind. I think it has a decent likeness. The thing that I first noticed was the nose. I don't know why, but the nose in your drawing doesn't seem to pop out as much. The tip of the nose doesn't seem to come forward as much or be noticeable enough to me. My second thought was that the eyes were drawn a bit too big, but I'm not as confident about this. Often when I think something needs adjustment I will later realize it was something else in relation that needed adjustment. I wish I was good/knowledgeable enough to say what might deserve further effort, but if you are welcoming of the impressions of someone who is less skilled then here I give them. If I were drawing it, I would try to make the nose, especially the tip stand out more, either bigger or more highlighted by values idk. Next if I deemed that as an improvement, I would look at the relationship between the nose and the eyes, and see if that had an effect on my uncertainty about the eyes. If it didn't then I think I might try adjusting the lower eyelid to make the eye the slightest bit narrower. Its easy for me to say this because I draw on a tablet, and if I don't like the results of my experimentation a few clicks brings me back to where I started. I'm sure you have put a lot of work in to get to this point and it looks good. I can appreciate the bravery needed to potentially mess up the work so far, in an uncertain attempt at marginal gain. However it goes or whatever you decide to do best wishes. Sincerely, Frog
Dwight
2yr
Frog, I believe anyone's opinion is useful. I agree that the nose's values could be pushed more, at the very least to make the picture a uniform scale. And about the eyes, Charles said something similar, so I'll look into experimenting with eye size. As to modifying the original image, I'm not going to. Not because I'm scared of ruining it or something, but I like to flip through my sketchbooks and see how much I've grown since then. So this will be a page where I can reflect, and learn from. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. - Dwight
Charles Tryon
First, it's an amazing drawing!! Her hair is perfect. The only thing that jumps out at me is that her eyes are a tiny bit too open, especially her right eye. I know I do this all the time. It's incredibly subtle, but a tiny tweak like that in the eyes can really change the mood of the subject.
Dwight
2yr
I'll keep this in mind for my next portrait. Thanks for the feedback!
Rizwan Piracha
Hi Dwight, Nice portrait. If you draw a center line on the reference it runs diagonally from top right to bottom left On the drawing it's a bit more straight up and down. This makes the nose and mouth look a little too far to the right. Also the nose might be a tiny bit too long. I often rush the early 'mapping ' stage and make the same error. Hope that helps.
Dwight
2yr
I didn't notice that. Thanks!
Antti Kallinen
Its okay, and i can see you are going in right direction. Just make more, no problem. I dont have time to give any good critique right now but one think that bugs me is her eye, seems like theres a gigantic ball under her skin. So I would make the eyball smaller ( tough it is "big"), the underside of her lower eyelid is too round. *edit* So maybe its not the orbit but the eye is just too big :P I would not count the time it takes to draw, there is no speed element in art. Atleast for me. So I would concentrate more on quality than speed.
Dwight
2yr
Hello, thanks for the feedback. I'd just like to add that the timer is just for archival purposes, and I don't rate my success proportional to the time I take. - Dwight
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