Marvel pencil assignment
11mo
Aaron Smith
I'm really enjoying this course! Took a while, but got the pencils done just in time. I feel like I'm back in school and leaving my homework till the last minute, lol. Any constructive feedback very welcomed. Looking forward to the inking process. Cheers
11mo
Hey, cool concept! Just a friendly suggestion, maybe trying out some perspective techniques could give your art that extra oomph. Spider-man's hands seem a bit funky, and the proportions could use a little tweaking too. Before you dive deeper into storytelling, maybe check out some perspective and figure drawing tutorials. Keep rocking it and keep having fun with your art!
Aaron Smith
11mo
Cheers :)
11mo
This looks really cool, I love the use of perspective for composition, it gives it a great dynamic quality.
From a more sequential point, a tip for future panels (or you could digital flip one of these pages) would be to have a continuous direction for the camera/point of view as it follows the character's action, especially larger motions like Spiderman's from page 1 to 2. Since we read from left to right, if pg 2 were flipped, it would create a smoother transition as we follow his action and move our eye across the page from top left to bottom right. It could also help to add more shared context between the three panels, like indicating where the monster/commotion is on panel 1 or indicating the location within the scene for their landing on panel 3. This is up to you of course, as it would better the clarity and understanding of the events, but you could always decide to keep or delay information for storytelling reasons--it all comes down to the effect you intend to achieve.
11mo
Thanks, Martha, for the nice comment and the feedback. That perspective shot has caused me all kind of problems :D
As for the storytelling of the panels. They aren't supposed to be in sequence. The assignment was to take 3 scenes from the script we wrote and draw them. They were an introduction, conflict and the resolution. Sorry, I didn't make it very clear. I'm going to upload them again as I've tried to rectify my mistakes after receiving a critique. This time I have labelled them.
Thanks again :)
11mo
I won't speak to story telling because I don't know the assignment, but I will talk about your drawing.
The perspective in the first panel is very cool and works for the most part, but it's a little sloppy, especially with the windows. They need to follow the same perspective as everything else in the panel.
The pose of Spidey is real awkward and the limbs show no perspective as to weather they are coming towards us or away.
In the last panel, you need to pay more attention to the structure of the figures, and proportion.
I did some sketches that I hope will help :)
11mo
Hi Steve, hope you're well!
I have had a go at correcting the mistakes after your critique. Unfortunately, I've reworked the New York page so many times, It's smudged to hell. Something that could be cleaned up in photoshop, I guess. Plus, I'm not even sure I've made Spidey dynamic enough (this is something I struggle with,) but, I didn't want to just steal the pose that you sent me. And those windows have beat me again... they are damn hard :D
Thanks in advance if you do get a chance to critique them again. If not, no worries.
Cheers
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11mo
Thanks, Steve! I really appreciate you taking time to critique my work. Your sketches are a great bonus too. I will work on fixing these problems before the inking stage. Cheers :)