Nice! I would recommend using more of the side of the pencil tip as it seems like she used this to cover more space and create a smoother effect across the page, rather than using a sharper tip angled upwards. Also, it can help to really accentuate the curves, as each curve goes into the other to make up the full composition. Identifying the type of curves (CSI) can be a good starting point to also keep in mind as you enter each line.

Good job. Yes, it’s hard to keep it simple especially when we are starting out and we could get overwhelmed by all the details we see. Do your best to avoid the short hairy lines & Try to use your whole arm to create longer lines. Take a good look at your image, analyze it for a minute and try to observe how you can simplify the overall shape of the object into the basic straights, s & c curves. Then try to translate that onto the paper. Try warming up first by filling a page of just lines so you can get more comfortable controlling those csi lines & using the whole arm.