An interesting attempt but do rewatch some of the critique videos and take a good look at other peoples drawings and comments. Try and make a scale of 5 values, with white the paper being the lightest and your black the darkest. Try and do only 3 in between and do not begin too early with details. First add the big shapes and add the middle tone. Then in the middle tone add darker values ... In the whiter areas add softly the lightest grey...

Don't forget that the these objects have a local value, not just the value of the paper. Then you can build your other values over the local value. I did a quick diagram to show you what I mean, I hope it helps :)