these "12 days of" videos should be available for download, id like to have these for an inspiration library

Your final "btw" paragraph has me saying no, do not do the 140 for the course. Seriously, if it would be that much of a financial hit, and you can barely get the motivation to pick up a pencil - you're setting yourself up for even more disappointment in yourself compounded w/ the financial hit. There's plenty of free stuff, I'd do that if I were you, until when and if your btw turns around. I have motivation/adhd probs as well, and telling myself "If i spend money on this it will MAKE me do it". Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, quite the opposite. Mess around w/ free stuff, and if you feel the inspiration buy yourself an xmas present of the course