Hi Emily.   Apologies for the massive response!   Ex-tattooist apprentice here. I thought I’d reply because I feel like it’s good to know there’s others out there who have similar experiences. Obviously, we’re all different, and my story isn’t the same as yours, but my story might help you out.   I was always drawing growing up, and near the end of high school I decided I wanted to become a tattooist. The first 3 month of me interacting with the tattooist who I would eventually study under was asking for feedback on my work and incorporating it into my drawings. Eventually, after this back and forth, I asked him if I had what it takes to be a tattooist and he took me on as his apprentice. This happened when I was 16-17 years old.   Now, I was terrified of this guy because I grew up in a very religious house (and was still very religious at this time), so I had all this baggage and fear about hanging out in a tattoo shop with these tough, older men. I’m also a big softy who tears up at weddings and stuff like that. I think that gives you an idea of how uncomfortable I was in this environment. My mental health took a real dive and it got to the point where my creativity and drawing ability kind of “shut down”. Eventually, I had to hand the keys back to my boss and call it.   During my time at the tattoo shop, drawing went from something I enjoyed doing for its own sake and wanted to be good at, to something I HAD to be good at just to stay afloat. That, coupled with everything else that was going on at the time, made me lose my love of drawing.   I barely drew at all for the next 8-9 years. I completed a degree in civil engineering because “I’m good with maths, it’s a stable job, and I think I could enjoy it”. I’d do some sketching every now and then during this period but it was pretty rare. Fast forward to 27-28 and I’m working in a civil engineering company telling myself I’m enjoying the job. I then hit a point in life where I let go of all the thoughts I’d been pushing down like “I don’t want to do this job my whole life”, “I spent 7 years on a degree that doesn’t suit me”… and at that point I realised that I’d let my passion for drawing die.   At this point, I got back a longing to enjoy drawing and kind of went nuts with it, but I wasn’t enjoying it the same way I did in the past. I think that’s because I was so desperate to make up for lost time, escape from my current work, and get back into the excitement of the professional art world that I (once again) made the progression of skill my main goal. I couldn’t just enjoy moving a pencil across paper anymore. I did get more skilled during this time but the experience wasn’t what I wanted it to be.   So I did some reflecting and decided NOT to get any better at drawing for a while and to just do mediocre drawings and I tell you what – It’s was awesome. Now I find that instead of “the need to get better” driving the fundamental / skill side of practice, curiosity does that work for me. I’ll be thinking about a method or drawing problem and questions pop into my mind that I’ll get excited to experiment with. Gesture drawing is also really enjoyable now because I can completely mess up a gesture, and it doesn’t matter – there’s another one coming right up. If I can’t think of a creative idea it doesn’t matter – I’ll just draw something I can see and I'll have an idea later. It’s like I’m slowly getting better for free.   I still have times when I’m dissatisfied. I came out of my office one night, my wife asked me what was wrong, and I said out loud “I’m so bad at drawing!!!” which makes me laugh now. But in a funny way, letting go of the “Importance” of drawing is the thing that has started to bring it back for me. It’s not the same feeling as drawing in my notebooks during classes in high school, but I’m a lot closer!   ------ So my suggestion is to give yourself a set period of time (I gave myself 6 months) to do drawings that are allowed to be at whatever standard they pop out as. Let go of the standards you’ve set yourself for originality, skill, beauty, or whatever else you’ve got in mind. Feed your mind with whatever entertainment gets your imagination going, then do the most derivative work the world has ever seen!   Also, don’t give up on your tattooing dreams but give them the time they need to become reality. I’m happy to give some feedback on your tattoo portfolio as well if you would like (I’m not a tattooing super star by any means but I know a bit about what they’re looking for).