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@monkeyxmonkey
•
1yr
added comment inAssignment - Reduced Size Layout
Asked for help
Here is my page of script 3.
With David Finch's examples, between panels 1 and 5, we see the two characters flipping from left to right. In the previous lesson he introduced us to the 180 rule and also warned about flipping the camera angle. In his example it didn't look off and ran smoothly from panel 4 to 5 (to me anyway).
So, my questions are... 1. Does the 180 rule apply from panel to panel, rather than taking the whole page into account? E.g. you could keep moving the camera angle around by 180 from each panel to the next, and within a single page having the camera angle move a whole 360 (or more) around the characters/ scene?
2. Can you break the 180 rule by using the character's POV to lead you to a new camera angle?
Going from panel 4 to 5 was also very smooth for me. I think David's page is a perfect example of when breaking the 180 rule helps better serve the story.
My interpretation of the 180 rule is that it helps establish a smooth flow when going from frame to frame. It helps reinforce our knowledge of the environment and the relationship between whoever is in the scene and allows us to focus on the action.
Right at the beginning of the page, David sets the scene and establishes whose on the left and right and what's going on behind them. I don't have to figure that out as I'm going from panel to panel, and instead can focus on a dude getting mugged. And in panel four when the two look towards the hero, it sets an expectation that I'm going to be surprised. The hero's reveal is sudden and shocking and I believe breaking the rule helps bolster the impact of the scene.
So I guess if I had to answer, the 180 rule applies for as long as it serves the narrative whether it be for a few frames or a whole page if not longer.
And to me, using the character's eyes is a fantastic way to introduce a new camera angle. I don't know if David did this consciously or instinctively because he never mentions it.
@monkeyxmonkey
•
3yr
Asked for help
Here are my five passes at laying out the page. I chose the second page that David provided.
My initial thought was to end the page dramatically with the scientist leaving the scene, so with my first attempt I laid things out to lead to that moment.
For attempt 2, i reread the script and realized i missed that the last panel is supposed to be through the lens of the camera. I also changed the angle and sizing of panel five to make it more dramatic.
On attempt 3 I did some editing of the script. We are given a description of the building from the outside, then immediately given a new description of the inside where the scene actually takes place. I decided to cut the outdoor panel to make the page more concise. also changed the angle of the clawed hand again. This new angle allowed me to showcase some violence and action. I think it really energizes the the page. After looking at the page as a whole though, I realized the focus goes straight down the page
On Attempt 4, I went all in on the claw. I feel that choosing to focus on it really gave the page a central moment to work around. I also tried to combine panels 1 and 2 from the script. The idea is to establish the lab in the foreground, and have the proko sign in the background outside a window.
For the last attempt, I decided to do what I was told and bring back the panel of the building.
I personally like either 4 or 5 the most. The one I'd choose to work would depend on the rest of the story. If it's important, or difficult to figure out where the scene takes place, I would pick 5. If not, I would go with 4.
What do you think of my thought process? Are there details that I'm missing or should focus on more? Where do you disagree with me?
Cool! I love how you depicted the hand crushing the computer in layouts 4 and 5. I never imagined anything like that when I interpreted the same script. It’s so dramatic! Having a shadow grow and consume the scientist was also a good touch. The panel introducing the scientist in the first layout was also very good, though I understand why it was cut from later versions to better highlight more dramatic parts of the scene.
Like the other commenters, I consider number five the best. That said, I wonder if a version like layout number 5, but with a panel 2 like the one found in the first layout would be even better. The panel 2 layout 5 currently has is good for clear storytelling, but a medium shot could better establish lab room where the experiment is being made.
Overall, great job! Keep it up!
I think 5 reads better. I had doubts about the history that I got clear at the 5th.
Hi there @monkeyxmonkey ! Nice work on the assignment!
My personal pick is (5), since overall it’s the most polished layout-wise and matches the brief the best! I think the establishing shot eases the reader into the scene better than just jumping into the action. That said, I thought that panels 2-4 on version (2) portrays the scientist injecting himself in the most dynamic and dramatic way. Personally, I think that combining the panel layout of (5) with the dynamic actions and poses of panels 2-4 on (2) would look nice.
Good work once again! Of course, feel free to take my word with a grain of salt. While I’ve drawn a few comic pages myself, I’m still very much a beginner!
Hello.
Here are two pages I drew that I'd like to share and get feedback on.
I'll take any critiques you may have for me. Don't worry about hurting my feelings, I work in the service industry so I already hate everyone and am bracing for the worst.
But if you don't immediately know what to say, you can answer a few questions I have about the art:
1. Do you know what's happening?
There's no dialogue on purpose. I want the frames themselves to be enough to tell the story.
2. Is it boring?
I did what I could to vary the angles of each shot. I just finished watching David Finch's video on dynamic composition so I had that in mind.
3. Do you have any emotional reaction looking through it?
I was trying to make the end feel both funny and creepy. Did I pull it off for you? Did you instead get bored and jump right down to the comments to let me know I suck? That's cool too. I need to know so that I can get better.
