[In Progress] Composition Critiques?
4yr
Elvis Murray
Hey guys, i've still got alot of problems to solve in this piece, but before i do, i wanted to make sure the composition and perspective elements are all working at this current stage.
Does anyone have some critique for me in that regard?
Thanks in advance!
Asked for help
[Update 3] I think i've gotten alot of the "line of site", scale and some overall composition issues solved. Welcome any critiques on the composition, color/lighting, and perspective. Excited to start locking stuff in soon and fleshing out the actual character drawings.
Ignore the sloppy part on the picnic table on the bottom right. As well as the sloppy leg in the same area. Trying not to waste too much time on refining certain things until i get this composition down first.
Do not take what I'm saying to close to your heart, it is just a subjective suggestion. But here are few weak spots of your drawing:
From the point of view you chose would be a little hard to show the accurate size relations between characters, like: "are they all of the same size ?" or "Isn't the duck the smallest?" It might be disturbing for the viewer.
Now, about the actual composition, I think it doesn't tell as much of a story as it might. As i understand these characters are ment to have a nice barbeque time. You might try to show that by making them interact more with each other, may be have a lovely chatting around the barbeque and even put some extra characters to better convey the mood.
And also you may indicate which objects are closer to the viewer by applying atmospheric perspective to the scene. Even on this stage it would help a lot, if you will chose where are yours foreground, middleground and background.
By the way you are doing good, do not give up, keep drawing.
Ps: English is my second language.
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If you imagine this scene in a physical space and you could spin the camera around and just look at them from a different spot would it make sense? To me the foreground character is a bit disconnected from the scene, he's not facing anyone in frame, which feels a bit socially akward to me.
I would move the two foreground character closer together and crop the entire image, but that's just my personal taste. Do what you think looks best :)
Hey elvis, try having the horizon line in the bottom third. It will encourage overlapping which will add a lot more depth to the image. Overlapping is essential for making good compositions.
Asked for help
Version 2.0. Tweaked the perspective and composition a bit.
Is it looking too "busy" now?
Might be a bit too busy... Or the scale variation haven't been enough. To look at the shapes in the frame, they don't get much variations in scale or visual size. Maybe I can do a quick sketch about what I had in mind here.
Doesn't look too busy, bit something else to consider. The picnic table, apron, burger master's arm, and lounging figure all point to the middle left of the image, where the trees are...The fact that the trees are highlighted and also pointing in this same direction (kind of a 45 degree slant, rt to left)...all this serves to draw your eye right off the page, where the trees are...maybe toning down the lights on the distant trees, or counterbalancing the vectors which all point this same direction (by strengthening the perpendicular vector along front of the grill, or maybe even opening the grill)...this may serve to keep your eye in the painting...
The tree trunk on the right conflicts with the right character (doesn't immediately read well), and the middle character's foot is blocked by the foreground character. That's what jumps out...and the partially blocked grill is problematic. I'd try bringing the foreground character closer, push him a bit left as well. That will clear a little space. Always fun decisions to make :)
I've done some perspective and can see the horizon line is where the sky meets the ground. Looking at the table all of the lines from the table should point to one vanishing point on the horizon line to the left and the other should point to a vanishing point to the far right way off the drawing. I might enlarge the character sitting in the front and overlap his knee in front of the tabe just a bit.
Your figures and background seem to be in two different perspectives. Look how the far edge of that grill nearly lines up with those distant trees — that’s one big grill! Compositionally, it’s a good idea to overlap your foreground elements. Bring that grill down so the reclining guy’s head is a bit in front of it — that’ll help us feel the depth. You might be able to overlap the duck and table with Deadpool’s leg. That sort of thing. Cuz right now the figures are all kind of floating and don’t feel related.
Beyond that, it’d be good to establish basic values earlier on in your process, with thumbnails. Most of the time what makes a composition work or not work is the abstract arrangement of values.
Thanks, great catch. I'll fix that right away and see if i can't make them feel like they "belong" more. I'll post an update later.
I am making an attempt to get a better process going with illustrations. It's apparent to me that i don't get enough problems "figured out" before i go for the final. Going to definitely rectify that.
Thanks again!
