Couple of fanart,would love some critism
3yr
@paper
Hello it's been a while,I got tired of painting and took a short detour with inking.These are illustration for my fanfic of the famous manga berserk by Kentaro Miura.I try to emulate his style as best as I could so it feels like reading the original comic.I hope to get critism if some part of the drawing feel boring or if it's not clear.Also would like to know if the composition or line quality isn't working. Thanks again for replying :D (Also I know this is a little bit different but @squeen @Christopher Beaven any thought?)
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Dan Willis
3yr
The textures you were able to pull out are really quite nice. The fabrics and the landscape are on point in the first and third image. The middle one comes across as muddled however. The crosses in the background seem out of place. As for the characters your 3rd panel shines. Your Guts in the first panel however is extremely small in stature, this character always has a juggernaut style feel to him. The proportions on Gut make him more akin to a Spiderman stature and less a Thor/Captain America stature. Just my 2c but overall I love seeing manga nods!
@paper
3yr
Hey thanks for replying @Dan Willis !Yeah I could see that with the Guts's picture,so I'll try to remember that in the fututre and make him bigger :D.Also as for the clutter thing I actually redid the panel and tried to make it more clear(hopefully it's better :D)
Christopher Beaven
Inking awesome! I will say first off that when I looking at the thumbnails of your images that everything here reads much better than your paintings. I think that maybe because of the clarity between the darks and lights. The first one with the characters on the cliff is my favorite out of the three. It has a nice story to it and a nice feeling but the background clouds are on the same plane as the figures they could be pushed back. Also I feel that the angle that you're looking up at the figures could be a bit more dynamic. Lastly the cliff texture of the rocks has a logical repeating pattern that is nothing like real rocks which is super organic and not as mathematical. The second one, I feel the action in it there's a lot of movement especially with all the action lines that you've added. I have trouble figuring out what is going on with the monster I don't feel the form of that monster. I'm also wondering where the rest of the body of the person is. It looks like the top half of his torso and nothing else. I like the difference in style on the third one it's much different than the first two. I really like all the different types of mark making that you're doing throughout all the characters and there is definite leading of the eye to the two main characters. I think you can push this composition to make it a bit more dynamic. Also they all look like they're floating in space was that intentional? Anyway I hope that helps again thank you for sharing your work keep going on the inking you have a real talent for this!
@paper
3yr
Hello @Christopher Beaven ,thanks for the complement!I'm guessing the reason it's more clear is because I've been inking for 5 years compare to painting (which I've only been doing around 2-3 years) But anyway,I took the critism and I try making the clouds and background smaller.I also delete the texture on the cliff because I realise it made the cliff too busy.(would love to know if this work or not) For the second one I tried adding scales for the head with diluted ink so it kinda wrap around the dragon.I took your advice and try making his armor on his torso and legs more clear with vertical hatching(though I'm still wondering if it work,just because I had to indicate a foreshortned body) I'm glad you like the third one!That one was the one I have to trouble deciding if it's going to work when I was drawing it.Though I don't fully get the dynamic thing?Can you give example of what you meant? Also as for the floating in space thing,originally I added ground but I was unsatisfied witht the end product I just try to experiment and make the ground dark like in a dream.(here's a photo of what it used to look like)But still looking back I don't know if it made it better or not;_:(also I don't know if this will help,but I originally wanted to make it like this page from the comic,though i don't think it's as good) But yes that wasa very useful!Thank you for critizing it,I'll work on my next ink immediately :D
squeen
3yr
I love pen and ink, but am not very good with it. It one of my long-term goals as a student to imrpove my skill there. I also don't use brush-ink, and just resort to technical pens (Microns). In fact, I just backed a Kickstarter for a Franklin Booth art book! So I am a huge fan of the art form. Attached are the scant few ink drawings in my proko albums. Not great...some never finished. :P When I ink, it massively changes the look of my drawings from pencil sketches (you can see the difference in my albums). What I am mainly saying is this: take anything I say with a big grain of salt. I am just a hobby-student who started (with Proko) about 2 years ago. I am no expert. Again, look closely at my work. Any advice I give you will be pointed in the direction that I am personally striving for---and may not be the style of art you want to produce. Clearly you enjoy anime and want to master it's look, but I can't help at all on that front. It's definitely not my thing. I can only give tips that point towards Golden Age illustrative "realism" because that's what I'm locked on to. Enough hemming and hawing, here's my critique: * I'm not one to talk, but the proportions of the anatomy are off to my eye. While you are achieving great expressiveness, the physically of the forms are not there to back it up. You *might* be drawing in "outline" mode as oppose to thinking of 3D solids. Also, the eye-shapes are flat almonds and not eye-BALLS with lids, etc. Proko anatomy course are world-class. They helped me a lot! * drawing in perspective it crazy-hard --- especially for complex scenes. Lord knows I struggle to do it! Maybe practice some of those basic exercises too? * light-and-shadow: they are such paltry tools but there' the only ones we have in B&W to convey form. On all of your works so far I've seen, there's a "clutterness" because you aren't effectively using light and shadow to guide the viewer's attention and make only *certain* things pop. You've given equal weight to too many objects. Less is more. Things in the foreground are often darkest. Things in back faint (aerial perspective). * vary the line-weight -- the line thickness is related to lighting. Real-world objects don't have uniform outlines, so if a silhouette-edge is black, that means it's turning away from a light source. At a minimum, a thin line when facing light and a thicker line when facing shadow. I'm sorry if that all sounds too harsh. There is great energy and creativity in the work, but I think it's foundational to master realism first, before heading off into stylized representations. I see that you very much want to evoke mood, but first you need mastery of the tools that allow you to manipulate the viewer. It's a long road ahead for both of us. Also, look at Booth for gorgeous skies! My two-cents and good luck! P.S. The last of the three is my favorite. Great patience with the texture and how hatching represents half-tones.
@wirysavior
Thank for your reply - https://waffle-game.com
@paper
3yr
Thanks for replying! Don't worry your advice was very useful!I'll keep those in mind when drawing my next drawing.{ALso I'll look up Franklin Booth after this :D) (also your drawings are pretty good,please keep going even if it's a hobby!)
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