For the rendering, you could probably play around with adding in more hard edges, and balancing soft and hard edges. (Sinix has some good videos that go into that if you’re interested). You do that a little bit though with the purple shading on the arm and ear, which I am a big fan of, love the color choice. Looks great. Also might be interesting to experiment with using some different brushes that aren’t as blurry.

I am sure that you need to calm down, then everything will work out. Good luck!