Hello, Phoenixx. You do sound like you're all over the place, which really isn't such a bad place to be when you're starting out. You say that you "don't feel comfortable drawing something just for fun" because you're not good at drawing. Well, I think that's where you might want to begin. You know that old phrase, "Dance like know one cares?" Like know one's looking? Try that with your drawing. I don't know....maybe draw something you remember from when you were little. Draw the outline of your hand and make a turkey. (we do this for Thanksgiving in the US) Get silly with it. Doodle until something starts to emerge from your doodling. My point is, don't try so hard to have a specific goal in mind when you're just starting out. If it ain't fun, are you really going to force yourself to do it?