Nice! much better. To improve it more, I'd either make the shadows overall darker, or make the light halftones lighter. Or a little of both.

I have a feeling that what's holding you back right now is your choice of photo. It probably has very soft lighting which is very difficult for a new artist to draw correctly. I attached a better photo for you to try. There are very clear lights and darks. We're getting a bit ahead of ourselves here since I haven't given any instructions yet, but I figured if you're going to start, I should guide you with at least some good reference! I love your enthusiasm!